I'm fat. So what's that all about?
Well, one thing it is not about is the weight.
I am not in good health. My health conditions are being held at bay, nothing acute is going on. So my health health is pretty good. But my health in general, well it sucks. But it's not about being fat.
Ok, it's a little about being fat. But being fat has about as much to do with my poor health as eating has to do with hunger. Which in my case is...not a lot.
Yes, I eat when I am hungry. And when I am not. I eat when I am bored, tired, mad, sad, when I see something that tastes good, when I am nervous. I eat when I am stressed. Which is all the time.
I am such a lucky lady. Having been around alcoholism all my life, and a few drug addicts, I escaped that form of addiction. Smoking, I have kicked that too. Many times. (ha ha) So, how lucky am I? I have broken the cycle of addiction!
No.
Food is the drug of choice. And it's time to break the habit. For my health. Not for the fat. The fat, that will go away, that will take care of itself if I start to take of myself. So I am not worried about being fat. After all, worrying about being fat has only made me fatter.
I am not the 12 Step type, no Overeaters Anonymous for me. I have been there, for this and that. Various "I am not an addict/alcoholic but love someone who is and I am a victim because of it" groups. I am not about sitting around taking turns to talk with no feedback and talking about Higher Powers. I like God, and I don't need the rules to talk to Him. I already have my own "Big Book".
No, I know what needs to be done. And if there is one thing to take from the 12 Step model, it is 'one day at a time'. That, I can do. No books, no meetings, no support groups. Ugh, I am so tired of self help. Really. I know what needs to be done.
It's not about being fat.
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Good luck with your journey. I know for me the first step I took at being healthier is now leading me into MANY more.
ReplyDeleteIts been like a domino effect.
Kinda cool how it works that way!
Wishing you luck with everything and inner peace! And, want to say that if you want to read a good book that lends itself very vividly to addiction and can be applied to all kinds, read A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. As a former addict and knower of many, that book was amazing to me.
ReplyDeletePeace and love to you!
Robin
Read your post and love it!!! I totally understand your feelings. Although, it doesnt matter whether thick or thin your pesonality makes you the person you are. I look forward to reading more of your blogs. Come check me out on Facebook. Deanna Whitten or Brown Bag Partys by Deanna
ReplyDeleteDeborah, thank you. Good luck with your changes, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteRobin, thank for he book recommendation!! Is he the guy that was on Oprah?
Deanna, thank for stopping by!! :)
I can totally relate to this post! I am fighting the same battle myself. I wish you the best in your journey!
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