Food ticks me off!

I am often consumed by what to eat. I am dizzy from trying to figure out what to eat. If I hear "everything in moderation" one more time, I might hit someone. Its not true. It's a lie. First off, I have no concept of moderation. Whose fault is that? I have no idea. I blame the fact that the yummiest food tends to be bad for you. It's the food's own fault. I have shared before about my emotional attachment to food, but truthfully that comes and goes. It ebbs and tides with the stresses of my life, much like smoking or drinking does for many people. Even when I am in a 'good place' emotionally, even when my stress levels are minimal, I deal with the constant confusion about what is best for me. In those times, when the angst gets the better of me, I am so not thinking about what is best for me, I am not considering anything other than filling the emotional void. It is when I am more clear headed that I actually think about taking care of myself. Call me Captain Obvious, it's ok.

Seriously though, I have a few different issues to deal with. Let's start with my weight, which I will not disclose here. Let's just call me fat, k? So low fat food. Which includes lots of fresh, leafy vegetables. Not good for Crohn's. In fact, the very best foods are not good for Crohn's.(Don't ask.) Nor is fiber, which is good for lowering cholesterol, which I have more of than a healthy person should. Now let's get into blood pressure. Mine has been higher for the first time in my life in recent months. Not high high, but high for me and not where my doctor wants it. Low sodium is beneficial for most people, as is weight loss, which brings us back to low fat.

So in summary, I need a low fat, low sodium, low fresh leafy veggie diet. Oh wait, I also have liver disease! Though my liver is perfectly healthy at this point (the disease is currently contained in the bile ducts) I do need to protect my liver from the nastiness that will probably eventually catch up with my currently lucky self. I also need to keep the bile ducts flowing nicely and not get them what we call sludgy. Mmm, sludge. Aside from low fat, low protein, specifically animal protein seems to be a good way to go for liver health.

Ok, where were we? Low fat, low sodium, low fresh leafy veggie, low meat, cheese and dairy diet.

Ummm, no. Really, in a word- NO.

Oh, just get creative with spices! Oh, just exercise more! Oh, blah blah blah.

I. Like. Food.

Not in an Ursula The Sea Witch sort of way, slothing my enormous fat self all over the ocean floor. Not in a talk with my mouth extremely full with crumbs falling all over myself, eating frosting out of a can with my fingers sort of way. Not in a disgusting sort of way. But in a foodie sort of way. In a love of many varieties of cultural cuisine and flavors sort of way. In a love of unusual foods sort of way, and a love of everyday American sort of way. And definitely in a love of cheese sort of way. Stinky, soft, hard, Whiz, square, round, pungent, mild, Velveeta, dip, shred, slice, curd, molten, squirt and the crusties left on the pan after cheese is cooked.

It just ticks me off that I can't eat as I choose. I don't want to be a pig. I just want to enjoy each and every thing I eat, is that so wrong? Is that too much to ask??