Zoloft and I were good friends. Until I left her. Tried a better class of "friend". Zoloft kept me calm, cool and collected. Most of the time. It also kept me as far away from my husband as I could get, but hey, I was calm cool and collected about that so....
Turns out, now that she and I are no longer keeping company, I have realized that she might have also kept me from feeling anything at all. Oh sure, I got pissed, I got sad, I worried, but at the same time, I did not CARE! I just realized, save a few times in the last week (which is key as I left her a month ago), I can not remember the last time I cried. Me, who cried at freaking cereal commercials. I have not cried for soldier homecomings for corn's sake! Something is not, and was not right here.
That is ok, I take responsibility. I chose her. I let myself believe I needed her to function like a normal, sane adult. She is tricky, as she will make you feel really good at first. But then she slowly takes over and before I knew it, I did not know me. Now I can not be sure if I can trust my new friend, I think I should be on my own for a while.
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