All this, for only $5?

Last night my son's football league held a party to mark the end of the season. They rented out a sports grille and lounge bar and had a buffet, for which we paid $5 a person. I was looking forward to a fun-filled evening and leisurely meal. When we arrived at the sports grille and lounge bar, I realized it was the same establishment where a friend's cousin had been stabbed just a few weeks ago. "This should be fun!", I thought. Good thing there is strength in numbers, as the place was packed. Packed like sardines. With loud, obnoxious football players. I let my football player roam as he wished and got the impatient little one in the already long buffet line, knowing I would have to leave in short order to pick up my daughter. We had been waiting in line for about 15 minutes when I realized they were calling by team to go through the buffet. I stayed in line. Sue me. Tommy is a minefield, especially in the evening, especially especially in a loud crowd. Then when we had almost made it to the food, they announced that if you were not on a certain coach's team, you should not be in the line. (Nice, huh?) Well, there was no way I was leaving the line at that point. Nuclear holocaust would have been less destructive than telling my son he would have to start all over. So we got tot he buffet and - big surprise- NO gluten free foods. At all. No problem, just feed the kid and we all stay happy. Moving along, kid ate, we left to get the girl and went back to get the football player. He met me outside at the appointed time and I noticed he did not have his jacket. I sent him back in to get it and he called me two minutes later to ask if he could stay a little longer because "Brandon Banks is here!!"! Banks is a wide receiver for the Washington Redskins. This excited me as well, and wouldn't you know it, little man had to pee so we all went back in. They were, once again, lining the kids up by team, youngest to oldest, so I figured we would be there a while and I may as well take a chance on the buffet, hoping some salad would work for me. By the way, my daughter was so hungry she inhaled a plate of broccoli! BROCCOLI!! But that is because that is all that was left at that point, broccoli and carrots with something that very much could have been gluten containing seasoning on them but by then I was so frustrated and hungry I did not care! So she and I grabbed our plates of veggies and found a filthy table, scooting the plates and glasses out of the way and trying not to touch the wet table cloth. Then my daughter went to get drinks for herself and the little man, and this is where the night gets really good. I know, right? Tommy spilled his soda, all over me. Fighting tears, I said, rather loudly, "This is the worst night ever!". At that point I notice Sean in line to meet Banks, so I grab Tommy and Kate and get in line with him. I then noticed that Tommy was crying, asked him what was wrong and he told me "Because you said I am the worst guy ever!".

Wait, there's more!

We were, again, two people away from the goal, this time the wide receiver instead of the buffet, and the door was closed. "Apparently", there was a mix up with Banks' manager and he was to be there earlier than he showed up, there was another event at the sports grille and lounge bar, and everyone needed to clear out. But Coach made it clear, he didn't want to hear anyone bashing Brandon Banks or his management upon leaving.

I honored his request. As we were leaving, of all the bashing I did, I did not mention Banks once.

Oh, I got a job today.