Something bad happened. To me.
Twenty-seven years ago.
I was fourteen.
There was no justice to come for me.
But,
there were blessings to come.
And even blessings that preceded "it".
It. So difficult still to say the word, to type the word. Rape.
I was not a virgin. I am blessed that my "first time" was with a caring boy. One who remains one of my closest friends today. I was much too young, but everything truly happens for a reason. Sometimes many reasons.
It is a blessing that my first sexual experience was in love, not in violence.
I was blessed by knowing Mike, the detective who changed everything for me with a simple act and many kind words.
I have been given the gift of experience.
Which I can share with others.
Empathy.
And the greatest blessing I have received
is the healing
power
of forgiveness.
Power
has been placed back in my hands.
Being able to forgive him
and not kill him
not dismember him
not make him suffer
not see him rot in jail for the rest of his life
not burn him alive
and many other things I have envisioned over the years
but being able to
forgive
him, has been the greatest victory,
the greatest justice,
the greatest blessing.
Goodbye, to you.
Anyone who thinks blogs are wasteful exercise in narcissism hasn't read your courageous post. I hate platitudes, so I try not to use them. Allow me, then, to simply say I humbly applaud your ability to share something so intimate. It's reassuring--somehow--that you've found the ability to take the high road and find the peace that so often eludes others.
ReplyDeleteYour story has been on my heart since reading your original post in honor of Mike. It has stayed with me, and gives me hope that people really do overcome obstacles, and can come out better and stronger.
ReplyDelete