Wow, I didn't realize it had been a week since I posted.
Today I took my father-in-law to his radiation appointment at the hospital. I was in the waiting room with a beautiful little boy, maybe three or four, and his parents. He had his blankie, and a very long scar on his bald head. He was grouchy, and stating over and over in that raspy little voice kids get when they are tired "I can't". His parents were trying to distract him with toys and books, but he wasn't having it. No walks. No drinks of water. Just "I can't". Finally he said "I can't doctor".
I had to excuse myself so they would not see me cry. I am sure the last thing they need is someone looking at them and their little boy with pity. Or maybe they would be upset to know I was upset. Either way, I had to step out.
Little kids do not say I can't, they say I don't want to. I don't want to tie my shoes, I don't want to eat that. Or maybe they say I can't when told to clean up their rooms, or carry their dishes to the sink. But little kids do not say "I can't" in the context of not being able to deal with what is going on. It is out of character for a small child to say "I can't do this anymore".
He should not have to, but he can, and he must. These are lessons we all have to learn eventually, but it is especially heartbreaking to hear the desperation of a small child who has simply had enough and feels he just "can't".
I am thanking the Lord today, as I do every day, for my children and their health. I do not take it for granted, but I do take it.
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Hi Shawnee, That hits so close to home for me. I remember watching my cousin have to endure so much as she battled a brain tumor and then leukemia. It is something that stays with you forever and changes the way you look at things. I sat with her just hours before she passed away. It was the most heartwrenching thing I have ever endured. You are right that kids should not have to say "I can't". It is not fair! Cancer is not fair for anyone, young or old!
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