It was a hell of a lot better than 2009. And that's all I asked for.
What do I want from 2011? Much of the same. Forward, upward, together. Come what may. Because we all know that, goal setting notwithstanding, life will happen as it will. I have a few goals, but really they are all just part of the bigger picture over which I have no control. I am grateful for what I have been given and how I have been carried, not just in 2010 but all of my life. So I will not muck it up with the vanity of specific wishes.
We had New Years at my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's place, as we do most years. They have five bedrooms and lots of space in between them, so it's the perfect place for our large family. I only wish they had an actual bed in the basement bedroom we always seem to be relegated to. We ended up on two twin air mattresses, one of which deflated, with the six year old between us. Needless to say, my back is hurting. Note to self- next year, "there's no place like home". However appealing the thought of staying home may be, we would miss out on drunken Pictionary (my husband and I ROCK, we're like a pair of shoes) and tons of great food cooked by others. Of course we would have great food here too, but I would have to be the one to make it wonderful and I would much rather play drunken Pictionary.
New Years day was more of the same; a huge breakfast, a birthday party for my nephew which consisted of all the men watching Star Wars episodes on the downstairs movie screen while the ladies sat upstairs and ate more great food. The day was rounded off with a late yet wonderful traditional New Year's meal of pork roast, black eyed peas and collard greens.
Today would have been....well I suppose it still is, my father's birthday. Death does not void the anniversary of one's birth. So happy birthday, Dad. I never really called him on his birthday. He didn't really contact me on mine, either. I guess we just didn't need that. Though there was one birthday, I think it was my 20th, I called him myself, probably hoping he would know why I was calling and he didn't even mention it. He had forgotten. It broke my heart. It was not long after that I changed my name from my married name (I had divorced) and decided to change it to my mother's maiden name instead of back to my own. Because, screw him! I can't say I regret that decision, but I do wish my heart hadn't been so broken that day. I bet the IRS does as well. (My initials could be SMABSR) Thankfully, later on my dad and his birthday came to mean a lot to me, and mine to him, but we didn't need a phone call or card to know that. That relationship may have ended up being one of the healthiest ones I will have.
So the holiday season is over! The tree is coming down. We go back to quiet routines and not seeing relatives for months at a time. No more shopping. Which is good, because we lost a car last week. No, we didn't lose it lose it, I don't misplace cars. Not usually. We lost it because I was careless and irresponsible, and we have to live with that. We may still have a chance to retrieve the car, but if not we are still going to be ok. I mean, oh poor us, down to only one car! We have so much, I know people who have never once owned a car, so from this we can easily move forward. On foot.
I have made one New Years resolution. I usually avoid them, I figure that if a change needs to be made in one's life, there is no time like the present. Well, this particular change needs to be made now, at the start of the new year so it is therefore a New Years resolution. You might be thinking it is to make my car payment on time. And maybe it should be. Only now, I don't have a car to make a payment on so WRONG! No, I have decided to follow my doctor's orders to limit myself to one alcoholic drink per day. No, not every day. That would be suh-weet! But no more than one at any occasion, and the fewer occasions the better. I have told myself that because my liver is thus far healthy and unaffected by the liver disease I have (as far as as we know), it is ok to have a few (or seven) at a gathering. This is foolish and dangerous, and it has actually started to hurt. I am finding I wake up with, in addition to a hangover, a full, achy feeling where my healthy liver should be. So from now on, one drinky poo for me. For example- one 18oz glass of wine, one triple shot rum and Coke, one Long Island Iced Tea....
Seriously, just one.
The best part of 2010? Being here for it and living it. The good, the bad and the ugly.
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